I typically write the blogs when I am doing well – I don’t write on bad days.
But I want to let you know – there are bad days.
There have been quite a few of them lately – days when I am just waiting to go to bed.
There have been days recently where it has been a colossal effort just to feed myself – and when I manage to get off the couch, and eat something or do some dishes or ANYTHING that gets me started – I can manage to be productive the rest of the day despite occasional bouts of crying or whining. (Mike has been amazingly supportive and patient the last few weeks.)
There have been a couple days when I haven’t managed to start.
But tomorrow, its a whole new day.
We have great and incredibly supportive people even here, friends who walk with us daily and help make sure we don’t sink too far. Mike & I do our best to keep a sense of humour, even if it does tend to be a little dark these days. (For example, last week we shared a good laugh about the feeling that we were drowning. I guess you had to be there.)
I mostly want to share the parts that are inspiring or encouraging – but its not an honest picture.
Some days, I just sink.
I feel you, I also have those days! After Mom died my asthma kicked in (stress) & I developed pneumonia from a cold. Being sick & mourning do not go together well. Depression sets in & then I am done can’t move all day. I am on the mend, dong better but I also had an uncle die March 10 & close friend die on March 12. We also lost Gunther’s Mom Dec 27. Rough year so far but I am putting one foot in front of the other & trying to get out of my depression. Hearing from you helps, whether it be good or bad. I do understand the sinking but life goes on & we have to go on with it eventually. Grief is a tough & we all go through it at one time or another. We all need to grieve in our own way & honor it. I don’t think we ever forget but we do learn to live with it. Still working on that part but I will get there as you & Mike will get there. Love & hugs to you both.
Oh, and sick… I had a few physical issues, too, and for me it felt good that my body was hurting along with my heart.
Its a long winter for you. I was also thinking of people like you when I wrote this – and want it to be known that we all have those days when we just can’t – and having that be general knowledge helps a bit.
Thanks for sharing the hard stuff…helps us to weep with you. Love is being poured your way today. I hope we can connect again sometime when there’s a little bit of reserve for a visit. ❤️❤️
Thanks Sandy! I am looking forward to it!
Thank you for being so honest Amanda! How will we know how you guys are really doing unless you really tell us! Even though you tell us though, we can not relate, but I thank God that He totally knows what you guys are going through We continue to lift you(s) up in prayer! I heard a song the other day “your gonna be ok” by Brian and Jenn Johnson (Bethel Music I believe). Maybe it will give you a little glimpse of hope at this time. If not, that’s ok too! Lots of love and hugs!
Thanks Debby! I’ve been listening to that song off and on. Its a gooder- and inspires me that others are working through some of these simple daily struggles, too.
Love you both immensely!! 💕