Someone made a comment about the last blog – they had been wanting to print it out for an update for the church community, but it seemed to end in the middle.
They didn’t mean it as a compliment, but it seemed to me that if that was the feeling the reader was left with, I have accurately communicated some of where we are at right now.
The last few weeks have probably been the hardest of the entire last year.
We have no normal that we can continue with. We don’t have a home that we can live in while we wait this out. Our vocation requires that we be present with our hearts; that we be engaged and whole. Getting paid for our work requires that we not only DO the work, but that we also communicate passionately and effectively about what we are doing.
I expected there to be setbacks. I expected there to be hard days and weeks, but I expected that overall, we would be able to find a way. I hoped that, eventually, the added strain of this continued nomadic life would come to an end. And now, a year and a half after Beatrix’s death, I feel a bit like I have been clotheslined – knocked over just as we were back on our feet and gaining some momentum.
Now, I won’t leave you there this time… At the moment, we’re not sure what our options will be month to month. I know my eye is getting better; I have another treatment in Lethbridge the first week of February, and probably more sometime after that. (As long as it continues to improve, they won’t do surgery, although that hasn’t been ruled out yet.) We have some ideas about what we might do (and where we might live) for March, but at this point it’s just ideas. March is suddenly too far away to plan for.
We’re very thankful that a YWAM base we used to work with suggested they could use us this month. And a good friend is going to come stay for a couple weeks – so we have somewhere to live, people to support us, and something useful to do for this month, and that’s about as far ahead as we know for sure right now.