I typically write the blogs when I am doing well – I don’t write on bad days.
But I want to let you know – there are bad days.
There have been quite a few of them lately – days when I am just waiting to go to bed.
There have been days recently where it has been a colossal effort just to feed myself – and when I manage to get off the couch, and eat something or do some dishes or ANYTHING that gets me started – I can manage to be productive the rest of the day despite occasional bouts of crying or whining. (Mike has been amazingly supportive and patient the last few weeks.)
There have been a couple days when I haven’t managed to start.
But tomorrow, its a whole new day.
We have great and incredibly supportive people even here, friends who walk with us daily and help make sure we don’t sink too far. Mike & I do our best to keep a sense of humour, even if it does tend to be a little dark these days. (For example, last week we shared a good laugh about the feeling that we were drowning. I guess you had to be there.)
I mostly want to share the parts that are inspiring or encouraging – but its not an honest picture.
Some days, I just sink.
I’m hoping that by now most of you have gotten some insight into our heart and intentions for the future, even if you (like us) might be a little foggy on the details.
Let me share with you some of what we are planning, and some of our ideas for our future directions.
Long-term, we will be working with discipleship in a way that is in line with our overarching vision statement. We also plan to remain with YWAM in a full-time capacity.
For the next few months, we will be travelling, specifically with the intent of connecting with people who were directly affected by Beatrix’s death. Many of our friends were witnesses to the accident, and returned quickly to pressures of full-time ministry. We are hoping that our visits will provide comfort and inspiration to our friends and colleagues. We are also expecting to be comforted and inspired ourselves. In June, we will attend a gathering with the leaders of YWAM Canada.
We haven’t made any firm decisions about what we will do long-term in regards to being in Rwanda. Being here has helped, but we still don’t feel ready to either close the door to coming back, or to commit to continue serving here. We are working towards putting things into a holding pattern here. We are planning to return at about the same time next year (before our visas expire), and will make a decision by then about what we will do.
For the last 6 months of 2017, we are planning to stay in one place and serve with an existing (probably YWAM) ministry. There are a couple of places that we think would be a good fit – where we could slip in and be useful (yes, I am looking at you, YWAM Vancouver). However, we are very aware that the next few months might show us a better opportunity, and so we are travelling with eyes and ears open for opportunities to serve.